Offer Him a Raise

“‘Civilisation shall stand in the dock
And answer for her ways!
My poesie binds her
The Guardian of my new age!’
‘How say ye now, Sir?'”
“I say, Call up the Person from Porlock
And offer him a raise.”

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The Cross Monkey

Once upon a time there was a monkey who got cross very easily. One day it got so very very cross it went poppity-bang in a puff of smoke and flew right out of the chimney. Up in the sky a cloud caught up the puff and tied it around itself as a  silver lining. And the monkey lived up there unhappily ever after.